A horrible beast follows me in my dreams now.

Every night,Privacy policy I awake in terror, awash with sweat, heart pounding. I grip the bedding around me, trying to ground myself from the too-real horrors I just awoke from.

He's inside my head now, an image emblazoned on my conscience that I can never escape. A beast so familiar and yet a complete stranger, twisted by some sort of cruel instrument that has left him nothing but a dreadful shell of his former self.

It's-a-him, Shaved Mario.

This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.

For some reason, a human being used technology, technology that has been developed over decades to spur human connectivity and creativity, to produce this hairless version of the most iconic character in video games.

It's unnerving. It's repugnant. It's a vile misuse of resources.

Luckily, it seems that most of humanity has rejected this image, responding with very appropriate revulsion.

This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.

This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.

This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.

This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.

One generous person tried to cover up Shaved Mario with various forms of facial hair, but each attempt is more confounding than the last. (Click on that last one for a surprise.)

This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.

Nothing is sacred. No shred of humanity remains unsullied. We are all damned to this existence.